Welcome to our fun world of word reading! If you love books and enjoy a good laugh, you’re in the right place. Reading Words are playful jokes that play on words which are related to books, libraries and all things read. They are a great way to add laughter to your day and make reading even more fun.
Also read: Sheet Happens: Paper Puns to Write Home About
Library Puns
1Are you a library book? Because I can’t stop checking you out.
2I asked the librarian if the library had books on paranoia. She whispered, “They’re right behind you.”
3Libraries are good for circulation, just like the heart.
4You’re overdue. I’ve been checking you out for a long time.
5I’m a bookworm. It’s easy to worm your way into my heart.
6The library is the ultimate realm for shelf-improvement.
7“Booked” for the weekend!
8Silent reading in the library is fine, but autocorrect is the real capital punishment.
9A librarian’s favorite type of music? Heavy meta data.
10Can’t afford a therapist? Check out your library’s biography section.
11This may sound novel, but I think we book well together.
12Librarians do it by the book.
13Librarians don’t judge books by their cover. They use the Dewey Decimal System.
14Where do books hide when they’re scared? Under the covers!
15Our library: Where shhh happens!
16I couldn’t figure out why the baseball kept getting larger. Then it hit me.
17Libraries are championed by bookmarks because they know the importance of a good pause.
18When the library’s too noisy, it’s hard to keep your book-lance.
19Did you hear about the new book on teleportation? It’s bound to get you somewhere.
20We’ll be closing in 5 minutes, please finish your sentences.
Bookstore Puns
1I wanted to open a bookstore, but I found the idea shelf-defeating.
2Bookstores: The only place where you can travel the world without moving your feet.
3I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!
4I’m reading a book about mazes; I got lost in it.
5E-readers will never take the place of books—you can’t scroll down a real book!
6In the book world, justice is always well-bound.
7Only open books have open minds.
8Bookstores always make their mark… with bookmarks, of course!
9Every bookstore is a treasure trove in disguise.
10Bookstores have only one window: the window to the soul.
11Book lovers never go to bed alone.
12Bookstores keep the receipts because their sales are noteworthy.
13In the end, we all become stories. Let’s make it a good read.
14Bookstores: We put the lit in literature!
15The only thing you absolutely have to know is the location of the bookstore.
16A bookstore is the only piece of evidence we have that people are still thinking.
17The right book can change your life, but the right bookstore can change your mind.
18How did the bookstore succeed? Volume sales.
19I’m hooked on books—they’re a real page-turner!
20I could live in a bookstore, and never want for shelter or stories.
Reading Puns
1When I think about books, I touch my shelf.
2So many books, so little time.
3I’ve been reading a book on levitation—it’s impossible to put down.
4Reading gives us someplace to go when we have to stay where we are.
5I’ve got my head in the clouds—just another chapter to go!
6You’re never alone with a book.
7If you think reading is boring, you’re doing it wrong.
8The past, the present, and the future walked into a bar. It was tense.
9Don’t judge a book by its movie.
10Between the pages of a book is a wonderful place to be.
11Reading one book is like eating one potato chip.
12Why was the math book sad? It had too many problems.
13If we were written in the stars, I’d read us every night.
14Books wash away from the soul the dust of everyday life.
15To read or not to read: not even a question.
16What do you call it when your favorite book ends? A novel idea.
17Reading is like a workout for the brain.
18I’m reading a thriller in braille. Something bad is about to happen—I can feel it.
19Got a problem? There’s a chapter for that.
20When in doubt, go to the library.
Writing Puns
1You can’t run through a campground. You can only “ran,” because it’s past tents.
2I put a thesaurus in our time capsule. I hope it will bring back fond memoirs.
3Never trust an atom; they make up everything.
4I’m writing a book on the history of glue. Can’t put it down.
5Writers do it with drafts.
6Sometimes I write so much that I need to take a word break.
7My first draft was a rare medium well done.
8Autocorrect can be your worst enema.
9Puns about monorails always make for great one-liners.
10The best way to write a book is to open a vein and bleed.
11When I wanted to write about the fog, I mist my chance.
12Have you read the book on anti-gravity? It’s impossible to put down.
13I’m reading a book on adhesives—it’s gripping.
14Don’t spell part backward. It’s a trap.
15Writing a book on helicopters is uplifting.
16Writers are always write, even when they’re left.
17I’m writing a book about falling down; it’s an uplifting story of getting back up.
18A writer’s favorite exercise? Diction-ary definitions.
19Writers never diet, they just re-write their portions.
20I’m writing a theatrical performance on puns. It’s a play on words.
Grammar Puns
1Let’s eat Grandma. Let’s eat, Grandma. Commas save lives.
2A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.
3Apostrophes sure are possessive!
4What’s the best way to watch a fly fishing tournament? Live stream.
5Grammar: The difference between knowing your crap and knowing you’re crap.
6I’m a big fan of whiteboards. They’re re-markable.
7I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
8Hyphens have a great work-life balance—they’re always in-between.
9Without geometry, life is pointless.
10Grammar: The difference between feeling your nuts and feeling you’re nuts.
11Punctuation can be a period piece or a comma drama.
12Grammar puns are for people who appreciate good, clean, well-constructed sentences.
13I’m silently correcting your grammar right now.
14To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
15A run-on sentence is really hard to follow which is why teachers hate it but students keep writing them because they think it’s easier to just keep going and going and going but it’s not.
16If you’re cold, go sit in the corner. It’s 90 degrees.
17Is it solipsistic in here, or is it just me?
18Never date an apostrophe. They’re too possessive.
19I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
20The past, the present, and the future walked into a bar. It was tense.
Novel Puns
1I’m friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know Y.
2I like big books and I cannot lie.
3A book fell on my head the other day. I only have my shelf to blame.
4Are you a thriller novel? Because you make my heart race.
5Why don’t novels ever get cold? They have great plot covers.
6Ever read a book about teleportation? It’s bound to take you places.
7Have you read the novel about the ceiling? It’s over your head.
8Novels are just daydreams with a spine.
9I once entered a novel-writing contest. I lost because my submission was short-listed.
10I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
11Romance novels: where love is always in the air.
12Want to discuss the novel? Chapter a time.
13Why did the novel break up with the bookmark? It felt too strung along.
14What do you get when you cross a comedian and a novel? A book that cracks up.
15Never trust a novel that’s warped. It has too many twisted plots.
16If you liked the book, you should see the looks I get while reading it.
17Historical novels steal my heart; they really bring the past to life.
18Why don’t science fiction novels ever get old? They always look ahead.
19Don’t like to read? You just haven’t found the write book.
20Every novel is a mystery novel if you never finish it.
One-Liner
1I read a book on helium. I can’t speak highly enough of it.
2I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
3I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
4Why can’t you trust stairs? They’re always up to something.
5I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I read about it.
6E-Books can’t compete with the feeling of turning real pages. It’s a novel idea!
7Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
8Reading about electricity? Ohm my, that’s shocking!
9I’m reading a book on time travel. I keep going back to it.
10A backward poet writes inverse.
11I’m reading a book about adhesives. It’s impossible to put down.
12I’m reading a horror novel. It’s spine-tingling!
13Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He just needed a little space.
14I’d tell you a Fibonacci joke, but it’s probably as bad as the last two you’ve heard combined.
15When I get a headache, I take two aspirin and keep away from children, just like the bottle says.
16My math teacher called me average. How mean!
17I read a book about Mount Everest. It was quite an uphill read.
18I was going to look for my missing book, but I could never find the time.
19What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite.
20I just read a book on the history of glue. I couldn’t put it down.
